Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Messy Health

Today, I actually did some exercise this morning. It wasn't a lot but it was a beginning. I have a walking DVD and I did the 1 mile segment. And it hurt, at first. Then I settled into the rhythm and it got better. Typically I would have plowed through the next (harder) part but I am easing into the routine.

So there is no change with my BMI (still 38.9) but there is a small change today with my movement and attitude. Here's to keeping the health momentum going.

Thursday, July 25, 2013


So for the last few days, I've washed the dishes every night before going to bed. This means I have stayed ahead of the mess. It's a new place for me and I like it. The frenzied housecleaning of Sunday started the momentum of wanting to keep it cleaner. Not everything has stayed straightened up and I have yet to tackle THE BACK BEDROOM, but I'm not overwhelmed. I can do this.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Pick up and light a candle

I once had a friend who said she didn't clean (meaning deep clean) before people came over to visit. She said, "I just pick up and light a candle." I thought it was funny at the time but that was before I had my own house with its accompanying clutter. Now I know it to be the truth.

One of my messes is my house. I am a pack-rat who married a borderline hoarder. I say that because it is kind of funny and completely true. I can easily walk through most of the room in the house, except for the dreaded "back bedroom." This has collected all the things I think are somewhat important to keep but not important enough to display. If all the rooms in my house looked like this one, I would be a candidate for an episode of "Hoarders."

The rest of the rooms just have some clutter I just haven't gotten to yet. That is, until the minister and his wife were coming by the house to pick up a hand truck. My dearly beloved and I both kicked it into high gear and cleared most of said clutter from the dining room and living room. It looks quite nice and it has given me some motivation to keep it like that. Some of my trouble with initiation is the overwhelmed feeling that I get when I don't feel like I can even make a dent. Now that dents have been made, I hope that I can follow through.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Medical Dread in the Middle of a Physical Mess

So, I have a medical appointment this morning for one of those yearly wellness check-up visits. The thing that I dread the most about these visits is weighing in. Unlike a weigh-in at Weight Watchers, the nurse usually does not let me take my shoes off of my feet. I'm lucky if they let me set my purse down before stepping up on the scales of doom. I know what I weigh but I'm embarrassed for others to know what I weigh, even the medical personnel who will guard my Protected Health Information to the death. Well, not really to the death but they are reasonably protective. But I digress because I really don't want to talk about my weight. Since the friendly nurse will put it on my chart, along with my height so that my BMI can be figured, the medical service provider will know. And I will probably get the usual talk about what I need to do and not do so that I can lose weight. I know all of this because 1) I've heard it from other medical personnel, and 2) I actually know what I should do.

At one point in my life, I actually went to Weight Watchers and followed the program. I lost a significant amount of weight and felt really good. But then I got married and ended up having surgery about 9 months later, and I fell off the wagon. So here is my dilemma: I know that I feel better when I weigh less and move more but I am not doing anything to move in that direction. I have trouble initiating. I know I should tell someone but I fear the failure of having to say, "Thanks for keeping me accountable but I didn't do all those things I told you I was going to do." I don't want to feel like a loser (not in the Biggest Loser sense but in the "I'm a failure and there is no hope for me" sense).

I've been listening to a variety of podcasts lately, and here are some things I've gleaned that might help me to do what I really need to do:
1)  When I try to do something, I am going to fail. Failing does not make me a failure but not trying again does.
2)  I won't typically take an action if I don't see a result. I need to believe in the process because I am not going to see an immediate result from every action I take.

So, my action for today is to tell about my BMI, which is 38.9. Ouch.

Friday, July 12, 2013


I love organization. I mean I really love it. I all but drool driving by The Container Store, let alone walk into the store itself. Baskets enthrall me like shoes or purses do to most women. I can't pass up a good box because it might go to waste. And don't get me started on things that nest or stack.

So it is ironic that I have so much clutter in my life. Maybe my obsession with organization and containers is a reflection of how I want my living space to look. Maybe if I had that one box (or twenty) and that set of shelves, everything would just fit into place and I would be clutter free. Alas, it is not the case.

Yesterday evening, while my dearly beloved lovingly washed dishes, I started straightening up the living room. Yes, I should have done it long ago. Yes, I know I should put things away instead of just setting it down. But I'm not writing this for self-flagellation. Or as it is said in Rational Emotive Therapy, "should-ing" on myself. I'm writing this to know that I can do it and to remind myself how things looked so much better; to know that all it takes is one small action after another.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Let's Start at the Very Beginning

So, I finally decided to write a blog. The thought has been rumbling around in my head for a while. If no one reads it, I think I'm okay with that. What I hope to accomplish is to talk openly about the messes in my life (self-created or otherwise) so that I can also talk openly about my part in cleaning these up.

My messes include:

  • Physical: I'm overweight and out of shape. My health is compromised and my family history is less than stellar on this front.
  • Financial: I'm "normal" on this front as I have too much consumer debt that consumes too much of my life and peace of mind.
  • Home: I am not the housekeeper my mother was nor who I intended to be. I see the clutter and so want to clean it up. But I get overwhelmed and distracted and I don't get started.

That's just a beginning but I think it is a very good place to start.